I've taken a 2 year old on vacation and some of that time is spent going to unique restaurants that take a couple of hours for a meal. My toddler would get bored and squirmy and would quickly ruin dinner for the entire restaurant. Same thing for airplanes. Of course I don't resort to it immediately but if talking, interacting, and other toys don't do the trick, iPad is a very useful tool in the arsenal. A carefully curated list of educational, offline content is acceptable in my opinion.
Grocery store, or any other short errand? Sure, that's too much.
It's important to note: I think "judging" parents isn't productive. People don't understand there are an insane amount of variables involved in raising kids, especially day-to-day.
So even though, I agree with you: we have tried since the beginning to raise children who can go to museums, who can read for long hours, etc. On vacations, we always packed a big bag of books, mini-games, etc. This will keep little kids busy for hours.
The BIG part though...
Really, sometimes you simply have to let stuff happen. Part of being a parent is engaging your child when they're frustrated and bored, NOT getting rid of them. It's a HUGE part... walking with them outside to talk through their feelings and your expectations.
Is it a pain in the ass? Absolutely. Is it one of the most valuable things you'll ever do with them? Without question.
Once the child is 5 they will sit and talk to you for hours, do puzzles, and play games.
I felt a little bad resorting to using a video like that to "control" him, but then I carried him on a 3 mile hike where he spent the whole time looking at the trees, before eventually falling asleep.
I'm hoping that as he grows up I can just teach him to have a healthy relationship with things like social media and use it like anything else for entertainment.
Maybe you just don't get to go out for dinner or ride on planes until they don't need to be hypnotized with a screen? You know it's bad for them but you're putting your comforts and freedoms above theirs and everybody else's.
I can't help but feel like the next generation has been completely fucked.
Your kid is not an optimization problem, they're a part of your family. If you want to do something unique that's going to bore your kids, it's fine to give them something to do; a half hour of screen time while you enjoy that fancy restaurant while traveling is fine. Your kid will be fine.
Sometimes you should put your comforts and freedoms above your kid's. You are not their servant, you are your own person who has your own wants and needs, and those get to win out sometimes. If your kid throws a tantrum when you're in an art museum, yeah, try to discipline them and calm them down and teach them. If you have a rare opportunity to visit a museum you've always wanted to, though, then it's fine to lose a battle or two here or there if the alternative is missing out on unique experiences that you value.
There are sacrifices to being a parent for sure, but the mindset that it's taboo to allow anything to happen that's not immediately in the best long-term developmental interest of your child is mind-boggling to me. Don't raise your kids in front of screens, but being a parent isn't some phase change that means you have to abandon all your interests and dreams and desires; it just means there's one more person whose interests and dreams and desires you have to care about now.
Non-parents always have all the answers about how kids should be raised.
However, everyday errands just shouldn't require extended screen time. Children are naturally curious, making it even more surprising when one is glued to a screen instead of investigating their surroundings.
We do use downloaded stuff on netflix on flights or rarely long drives if we need to keep them awake. But we use colouring, activity books etc on planes before resorting to Netflix.
To be honest, sometimes I feel that if they are on a device too much they just get frustrated and wound up anyway, so you end up shooting yourself in the foot a bit.
Having said that we do let them watch TV at home. If you're parenting alone, sometimes it's the only option to get stuff done.
It's only a few years when they are this needy. You'll survive without exotic vacations and fancy restaurants for that time.
I think it's culture dependent and maybe the fact that in most cases the food is in shared in the middle of the table makes it more engaging?
