That's the closest link I could think of, but "deadlifting" is at best a very specific and small step toward the implicit goal of "become immune to all physical harm". It doesn't make sense, so I figure there has to be something I'm missing.

That was exactly what I was expecting, but the article was pretty good nonetheless

That's funny. I thought of a different XKCD. Deadlifting for a brute force-attack. https://xkcd.com/37/