You were clearly implying they don’t when you downplayed all SSRI downsides as “a handful of annoying side effects”.

Weight gain kills. Suicidal ideation also kills many people when they start SSRIs. People have killed themselves because of permanent sexual dysfunction caused by SSRIs that never went away after stopping the drugs (and yes, this is a known possible adverse effect listed in the official prescribing information).

I don’t think the choice is as “obvious” as you’re making it out to be.