Every now and then I find myself with a day or two by myself, having no expectations, nobody to have to coordinate with, nowhere to be at a particular time. It’s incredibly resetting.
I know it’s valuable because when I can pull it off, I feel like I’m stealing something.
My colleagues that don't have kids, they waste their time. Not by doing nothing - that would be awesome - but by creating problems for themselves that end up taking their spare time. It is like they believe they will always have empty days to spare.
and decade later you will miss 'occupied' days.
Why are you replying to GP's comment that is not talking about loneliness but solitude?
I downvote anyone who says “I wonder…” and then asks a question the article answers.
Maybe do it more mindfully the next time? Like do something you have wanted to do alone for a long time, exactly the way you want to.
Or instead of eating poorly and staying in, get outside and hike?
God I would love to, but it’s always 85F+ and either raining or >80% humidity. Its miserable outside.
The OP (and others) suggest solitude's desiderata to be: 1) pursuit of a personal passion, and 2) disinterest in affirmation (or criticism) from others, 3) the belief that this journey will be preferable when taken alone.
Do the terms introvert and extrovert capture such personality quirks usefully? And are solitude and loneliness synonymous? I've long thought not.
As I understand the terms (informally), introverts are drained of energy when in a group while extroverts gain energy. But by that definition, loneliness should arise only when extroverts go it alone. Introverts should be immune. But not so, so there must be more to the story.
The best work I've read on the complexities of introversion and the merits of solitude is Susan Cain's marvelous book, "Quiet". As I recall, it confirms the OP's thesis.
In all their examples, those people choose to be alone for a period of time. But could easily choose not to. Also the time alone is limited.
Though, loniness can happen with other people, not having anyone at all is a very lonely feeling. I remember seeing videos of people saying they have no friends and start breaking down in tears.
As I age and past friendships fade away, without any new ones due to my personality, habits, I wonder how long until that'd be me.
