The increased responsibilities of senior+roles are daunting. I once had the energy in my younger days to jump into the challenges, but ended up jaded after not getting the results. People have been just looking out for themselves. (Not wrong!)
First, if it's OK with you, then it's not wrong. Ignore the things society/advertisers tell you: "You need a boat! You need a nice car! You need a pool!" Do you want a boat? Do you want a nice car? Do you want a pool? You actually have complete control over these optional financial burdens.
OK, so if you've taken a step back and established what you actually want, (and this may change throughout your life), then you can set some goals around how to achieve that. People may judge you (fuck em, imo). You will get asked questions about what you do for a living all the time (probably), and maybe the status of a more prestigious role is important to you. It's all up to you (possibly with some input from loved ones if you value their opinions).
Personally, I'm kind of a minimalist. I have pretty much all the stuff that I want already. I actively fight against acquiring more stuff. If I had enough capital for my family to live off 10% per year, I would quit my job today, and offer my services for free to causes that I actually care about. Come to think of it, I guess that's one of my goals.
I’m in this field because I like writing code. So many of my managers tried to push me to advance my career, and generally speaking, there is peer pressure. Don’t give in, if you’re having fun, and make enough for a dignified living, that’s what really matters, not the title.
The old guys who have total ownership over some esoteric but irreplaceable part of the code really have it made. Especially if they are working remotely. At that point you almost are like a piece of B2B SaaS software. As long as you do your task tolerably well no one wants to go through the hassle of replacing you.
Five years ago I transitioned by accident to an executive position in cybersecurity, mostly because of my emphasis in secure development, and the recent creation of the area. IT security always has been my second love, but becoming a manager took a lot of the innocence that let me sleep like a baby every night.
I'm not complaining, I had to learn many skills, took very different challenges, and while I barely code anymore, I've both suffered and enjoyed the journey and the personal growth. Nevertheless, some days I still miss having way less responsibilities, and a more peaceful life.
I guess my point is, OP should do what he thinks is better for him while he can get away with it. If OP honestly believes his happiness is staying a senior forever, more power to him. In my case I wanted the challenge before the opportunity passed me.
As long as you work somewhere with ladder mobility and some churn, the opportunists will rise, and they'll want/need you to rise too.
Ultimately, I think you should feel ok rejecting a promotion if it forces you into responsibilities you don’t want to have. But you’re probably going to have to accept the consequences of that either way. And you might even be forced into doing some of those responsibilities and not get paid for it.
As you can imagine, some of these responsibilities can drive you mad. The domain experts may expect the product to do X, but they want it to work the same as their product made in the 90's and they start dictating how the UI should function. Since ultimately the success of the product is in my hands, communication ultimately is the most important thing. You have to push back against nonsense and suggest other ways of doing things to people who may be set in their ways (lots of yelling and you need to keep your calm). The endless meetings are another issue. And we don't have a strong company culture to set policies on meetings (like Amazon enforcing meetings must have a small 1 page writeup that everyone has to read). When you're hyper-focused on not wasting time and you join these meetings where half the time is spent talking about weekend plans it can drive you insane.
I got into software development because I enjoyed coding, problem solving, etc. I never signed up for this! I think after this, my next move will be able to step down into a role at another company with less responsibility. This is just too much pressure, especially with two young kids at home.
The key, though it's admittedly easier said than done, is for you to do you and not worry about what everyone else is doing.
Also, this path allows you to delegate work to other contractors that you have vetted. After all, your clients care about the results, not who does the actual job.
So what model does apply? How do you find enough work efficiently enough with that kind of model? How do you make it sustainable and not run out of the screws that your professional network needs replacing?
It doesn't hurt to occasionally beat the bushes and ask your friends if they need screws replaced, or if they know anybody who does.
Short answer: if you replace screws efficiently and communicate well, you will become the go-to person for replacing screws.
Let's say a Senior is someone who's shown they can work effectively as part of a team, reliably and with little/no direction. You need part X of a system done, X is reasonable enough goal, and they will make X happen, including collaborating with interdependencies in a wise way. And they can go home at the end of the day, and have a life.
I'm "Principal" (and aspiring startup-CTO), and in my version of that, I live for this, I invest in the big and small pictures of whatever I'm working on, I believe in the mission for real, I have earned battle scars that help me solve system/org problems, and avert many bigger problems.
If a process isn't working well, or a product isn't on the right track, or team members aren't happy, or the hiring or culture are going sour, or things that should be happening aren't happening, or things that shouldn't be happening are, anywhere in the company... hopefully I'll notice, or someone will trust they can tell me about it, and I'll help figure who and how to tackle it with, and apply all the energy required. It would bother me not to.
I'd implicitly take on that scope of responsibility, even if I didn't officially have that role. Most people don't want that much responsibility, and most shouldn't have to.
Senior is a perfectly respectable role to serve until retirement, and a key part of what most orgs need to execute successfully. (Don't believe the bro myths popularized in some companies, like up-or-out.)
It's fascinating to me that you've not attained the senior level after a 15+ year career, though. That's a lot of time to spend as a mid-level engineer. Out of curiosity, why aren't you a senior engineer?
Then I took a QA position in a big corp after spending my 20s not saving any money. Even this manual/automated testing role qualified me for a 50% pay increase from the old job without salary negotiation. No dev shop took me after seeing I was clueless in recent tech stacks. After a few years, I was tired of the manual testing part and looked for a new job.
Then I had automation roles in a few local companies with increasing DevOps components. The companies are progressively less rigid so they are good in letting us exploring and using new tech stacks.
My belief in not doing "evil" in my 20s has hurt me financially and career-wise in the long term. I didn't read industry news before I turned 30. The QA job, even if the company had some controversies, was a savior to stop beating a dead horse.
You’re making plenty good money I assume. You can take that money and invest it and make more that way. Your income is not capped even if your salary is.
If you make good money, have a good quality of life, and like what you do you don’t really have to think beyond that at all. But if you want to think beyond that, there are other options.
Sometimes the bump in pay for leadership does not correspond to the amount of burden you experience, meaning your life might be worse for it and for not enough money. If you pursue leadership absolutely make sure that the pay is truly worth it because owning responsibility sometimes means late nights fighting fires.
Sounds like you're doing totally solid in your career.
Since then, I have technical only positions.
There is much to do technically, and I'm better paid than my chief.
I enjoy each day of work, swimming in my lack of responsibilities
He said that he is never going to try to advance beyond his role, and that he made that decision a long time ago. He decided what level he wanted to be at, fought to get there, and plans to be there for the rest of his career.
I also know a software engineer who has made the same decision. He wanted to hit the highest he could go in his role that didn't pivot to management (lead, director, etc) and he achieved it and has been happy there.
They're both very chill people, and they do well for themselves. Both also advised me (as I share your sentiments) to figure out where you want to end up, work hard to get there, make connections, and then do the best in that role for as long as you have it.
The VP said that even if you are dead set on being the president of the company, the truth is that the further you go up the pyramid, the fewer opportunities there are, and the more people competing for those opportunities. Unless you are willing to sacrifice everything else in your life for the chance to land that seat, it's not worth it.
I'm still relatively early on my career, so I'm fighting to get further up, but I know whereabouts I want to end up, and it's way below where my peers want to be. And I'm fine with that.
Senior roles can feel daunting, but don’t think of it as just taking on more. Imagine leading a smaller, cross-functional team where you have ownership—driving one project from start to finish, making the calls, and staying hands-on. Or maybe you carve out a role where you mentor others while still tackling technical challenges that energize you.
You haven’t faced ageism, but here’s the truth: that 25-year-old will eventually come for your job. The edge? Mastering the "adult" skills they haven’t. Those deeper, strategic moves that come with experience—handling complex projects, leading without a title, and seeing the bigger picture.
You’ve proven you can thrive—now it’s time to design your career with more autonomy and impact. Forget chasing titles. Focus on creating the career that offers fulfillment, freedom, and depth in your work.
Your energy isn’t gone—it’s just waiting for a clear direction.
I've had the discussion with various people reporting to me over time that they were perfectly happy right where they were and had no desire to progress.
Go with what makes you happy and try to find a place that lets you be.
Hell, sometimes I wish that I'd never been promoted.
I decided not to for a bunch of reasons - the most important ones being that I am at my limit of corporate bullshit, that I am an expert in what I do and wild be average in a new position.
There is also this sweet freedom edge when I can still criticize, but not be perceived as shitting my bed.
My son who is doing (elite) studies in finance cannot comprehend that. To him, an opportunity is something you ought to catch. I envy him his 20 years old :)
Also--your decision is a "for now" decision, not a "forever" decision.
However, the thing about working as a lead engineer (IC) is, you can pick what you want to work on. You don't have to write boilerplate code. You can still write a lot of code if you want (David Cutler said he has always been a hands-on manager who writes a lot of code). And the pay is definitely a lot better, so I think that definitely holds some weight.
If you have safe procedure to change teams and environment in case of stagnation in current project - use it and be happy.
If you don't spend a lot and are saving, who cares what you do for a living?
If you hate the idea of making more money, as the meme goes, perhaps consider that is because you are actually Financially Independent and Retired Early without realizing it.
Being able to say "I don't want more money." is a luxury only few people can truly afford.
I got talked into management twice and I hated it both times.
Hopefully they ask you why.
Then you can learn what it is you are really thinking (but you have started here, so yay!)
Additionally, you can continuously learn new skills independent of formal role.
I've mentored and hired a lot of people that just want to sling code and get their 3% inflation raise every year. Good on them, love those folks.
Also, judging from HN/reddit people more often than not regret not advancing to management.
From individual pov, no. Because everyone a different priorities in life.
Goal is to find the company where their expectation meets your priorities.
The idea is that the mid-level "clueless" are the ones who choose to climb a corporate hierarchy, while the non-senior "losers" (not social losers, but the people who struck bad financial bargains) are able to give up capitalist striving for a stable life. As a "loser" you can move between different jobs more easily, stay happy, and avoid politics and unnecessary responsibility. Here's an excerpt from that article that resonates with me:
"The Losers like to feel good about their lives. They are the happiness seekers, rather than will-to-power players, and enter and exit reactively, in response to the meta-Darwinian trends in the economy. But they have no more loyalty to the firm than the Sociopaths. They do have a loyalty to individual people, and a commitment to finding fulfillment through work when they can, and coasting when they cannot."
I actually find the "loser" to be the most interesting and useful person at most companies.
Anyway, that's my two cents.
The fun satisfying stuff is the generally lower impact work. The boring and frustrating stuff is higher impact work. If you do not need the Principal money, and Senior money is good enough to retire on, I can understand how you might be tempted to stay at senior, or even take a pay cut.
TL;DR: nothing wrong at all with staying at Senior.
But if you are looking for general advice, I think it's important to want career progression. Generally speaking, for most people, bills go up as they age (kids, health, yada-yada). Unless you are sitting on inheritance money, you'll want to have a bigger pay-check to meet life's challenges.
To a point yes. There was a time when you could realistically pay off your mortgage before you were fifty, and for some people maybe this is still the case. College expenses are another consideration, just depends on how much you as a parent are going to shoulder those costs compared to grants/military/self earn.
For myself, costs have lowered and I'm able to donate more money to charity. So if you can swing a bigger paycheck and you're motivated help others I think it's worth doing so.
