Just because you had a shitty private tracker experience doesn't mean they're all bad. Similarly just because a SO from a past relationship broke your heart an betrayed your trust, doesn't mean relationships are bad and will result in the same outcome as yours. YMMV can't be overstated. I'm sure some are toxic, but plenty are not.

I'm on 3 private ones and the content and the communities are great and never got banned or had any issues. I just kept my head down, stayed under the radar, kept chats and interactions to a minimum and only on content topics, and it was smooth sailing for over 10 years.

Basically I treat the trackers only as places to upload and download and that's it, not as places for social interactions like Reddit or HN, as that's where diverging opinions and egos can clash and you can can find yourself banned due to sensitive members abusing the flag button or touchy mods. Similarly how I wouldn't start religious or political debates at work or hit on women there, the risk is too high to offend someone and the rewards basically non existent. It's not worth it. Keep social interaction only on social media, and trackers only for piracy, without mixing them together, and you'll be good.