> Maybe cities could extend outwards instead of making existing BY hellishly dense?
This is what we have been doing. It's not working
> What about the investment in the house and the quality of life of those having the BY?
As the neighborhood gets more dense you'll probably hit a point where the value of your land gets to a point where you can move somewhere slightly out of the city and have a chunk of money in your pocket.
> hellishly dense?
I dont see why you equate density with hellishness, with density comes more services, entertainment options, (ideally transit options) and unless you sell your land is still your land. And generally we're not talking about turning your suburban neighborhood into Manhattan usually more something akin to a european neighborhood.