Ask HN: I feel both valuable and worthless

Starving talented artists exist in all fields of endeavour. Passion alone doesn't pay bills. The difficulty is not specific to programming.

The painful lesson that took me years to learn is that in the world of business it is not what I want that matters. It is what they who will pay want. My role is to deliver on that and get paid.

You don't mention what skills you have and how much runway you have left. So it is impossible to give any specific advice. In basic terms start with what you can offer to do now and build upon that.

Are you being too picky about what jobs you’ll take?

Code is like a super power. I started off as a sys admin, and started writing code and tools to make my life, and the life of my team, easier. That transitioned me into a software engineering role. It wasn’t fast, but I’ve had steady employment with consistent raises for nearly 20 years because of it.

If you just need your foot in the door, does it matter which door it is?

I hope I don't sound rude, but this whole text looks like a procrastination.

The economic scenario isn't good, but you also look very confused.

If you want to get a job in tech, you need to put the effort into it; you seem lost by your interests(games) or side hustles.

Most people really lack focus. They start 10 things and never finish one, and I think you are in this situation because of this.

It's very hard to have the discipline of studying constantly and following up on what you need to do to get what you want (a job in a competitive field without a degree).

If you really want this, you should consider even getting a degree, or do it what it takes, and stop wasting your time with other things or thinking you are some sort of special creature "an obscure fine artist", this looks like storytelling for your procrastination.

Life advice is useless, I bet lots of people have given you advice previously, or you've looked it up before, it isn't possible this is the first time ever anybody is giving you advice to this, the issue is you following up in what people tell you, and also being strategic about it, and taking the time to figure out if that's what you want.

Nowadays there's Youtube and too many gurus to give advice and make people even more confused than they are, back when I started working in Software, there wasn't as many distractions, first you need to fight against them, make your own bed and take care of the tasks you need to take day after day.

Another thing is "Right now, I'm not making much money, and that needs to change relatively soon." -- truth being said, no company or person cares about your needs, politicians and governments will pretend that they do, but ultimately you are responsible for your own well-being.

If you'll need more money soon, you need to start figuring out what to do now. This doesn't mean necessarily you will work in tech, it means you need to figure out how to make money, not follow your "passions" or "interests", those are the things holding you back, it looks like doing anything for you it's a big exploration of your self-being, when in reality in the real world it's about just doing what you have to do.

Start a passion project, make a website and put it on github. It will display your skillset in an easily digestible way. Making something that doesn't make money isn't necessarily a waste of time. Also you could join a dev bootcamp.

> Companies don't want me, and the path to self employment feels like a risky grind.

Do you read your own words?

They don't make much sense to me. If companies don't want you — how is the alternative risky? Risky in comparison to what? What other options do you have?

If none - it doesn't help wining on hn, just go for it whatever you think will make you money (if "that" _really_ "needs to change relatively soon").

Nobody cares about how you feel, not employers, nor customers, neither should you. Feelings don't bring food on the table.

Could you introduce your background and skills? I believe this would help in encountering some new collaboration opportunities.

> I feel like an obscure fine artist, who can paint a beautiful scene

If you're this capable then your git contributions should be enough to secure interviews.

Obviously I'm making assumptions, but it feels like perhaps you're not actually as skilled as you think you are. Can you explain some projects you've worked on? Do you have any examples to show employers? Maybe share your CV so we can critique that.

I went straight from high school into a relevant job role, with no degree or work experience. It's certainly not impossible.