Then how the hell does it negotiate the power and know if it's attached to 3A or 5A?
The "Official Pi 5 USB-C Power Supply" is USB-PD compliant and as it is advertised as such in conjunction with the Pi5, I think that is where the confusion originates
The things I've been searching in the last few minutes suggest that the Pi can negotiate 5A but only if the power supply explicitly offers it as a PDO, which almost nothing does.
But even if that's right, it's almost as bad as not doing PD at all.
Edit: The documentation states "If the Raspberry Pi 5 firmware detects a supported 5A-capable supply, it increases the USB current limit for peripherals to 1.6A, providing 5W of extra power for downstream USB devices, and 5W of extra onboard power budget."
It also confirms no PPS, but it's not entirely dumb.
Here's the thing though; the simple fact that we have to even have this discussion because the Rpi5 continues to be super damn weird is enough evidence for me that the platform has jumped the shark. I don't know whether to blame Broadcom or the Pi Foundation, but the Pi 5 suuuuuucks. Man, I wanted to love it though; it's the only board I have even been been able to buy from them in the last FOUR YEARS