Because DOS and Unix are otherwise so alike? Hard to fathom, but be it as it may, a `dir` command not interpreting command line options like DOS's (or CP/M's -- which makes me think that even older OS might have had the directory listing command called `dir`) `dir` won't be of any help.
I think `dir` rather should flash the screen and screech out of the speaker to wake you up!
It just happens that there are other popular commands that do the same…
column --table