People who visit Asian cities the first time romanticize the hell out of them and base their entire understanding on a culture they couldn’t hope to penetrate on a first viewing. This is a known problem with pretty much every “expat” circle in these cities - it’s noticeably more pronounced.

(I have lived in or spent significant time in all of these cities you listed)

I'm not so sure about London. I visited once for a week and decided that I wouldn't like to live there because it's so crowded, but maybe the big city goodies (especially the museums, access to global food and public transport) would make it worth it. If it wasn't obvious, I come from a very small town.

Now that I have lived there, all of that was very much confirmed.