Hey friend - you're wrong on this, although I understand how it might be comforting to think this is all some vast elite conspiracy.
The reality is that you "become chosen" by building a company that is growing very quickly in a big market. That's it.
Most successful startups didn't wait around for some name-brand VC to pick them (that's the most anti-entrepreneur mindset I can think of). The big funding happens much later than the initial traction and momentum.
Yes, you have to be personable enough to be able to talk to clients, investors, recruit top talent, etc -- but that's not the VC arbitrarily choosing whether they like you or not -- that's a cold reality of being a great founder.