You're talking about a best practice like it's a fundamental law. It's not, it's just how we've mostly been doing things. A lot of interesting innovations in distributed systems / architecture (serverless, graphql, thin clients, thick clients, ORMs, RSC, WSGI, nodejs) have been made because the designers tried relaxing a constraint or taking a counterintuitive idea to a maximalist place.
In fact, if you look harder, there are a fair number of existence proofs of successful systems built on stored procedures. There's even a "best practice" phrase recommending doing compute as close as possible to the data.
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