I want to say this position is despicable, but that's not a very charitable reading. But I fail to see how 'making everything your own fault' is in any way a healthy mechanism for dealing with others. Other people DO make mistakes. Other people have loads that they ARE expected to carry. Other people ARE expected to comport themselves a certain way. This not only absolves anyone but yourself of any responsibility to do anything, but it also offers yourself up as a scapegoat to anyone who needs one.
That obviously has limits; anything taken literally to an extreme does. For instance, Munger lost a nine year old son to cancer; I doubt he thought "This is my fault, I did this, if only I had acted differently".
The central point of the quote is to believe you have agency. That if you are in a situation you do not like, you can act to get out of it. There are times when this isn't true, but if you act as if it is you'll be more likely to get out of such situations.
And then you have to use human common sense to know when something is literally impossible.
So, back to the example of someone abusive, you might think "it is my fault I am dealing with this person/situation" and consider what actions can get you out. I would distinguish this from victim blaming: First, you are doing it, not an outsider. Second, the point is not to feel shame for yourself, but consider positive actions.
^^^ This! It's only your fault if it's actually your fault - If the blame genuinely lies with someone else, there's nothing left to do but take actions to a) fix it, and b) ensure that it never happens again. Can't rely on others to fix things, because the fact is that most people simply won't even try.
That is a much more charitable interpretation of this idea, and when I look at my own life that's pretty much where I am at. The bar for everyone else is zero. There never seem to be any consequences for others' laziness or stupidity, and the expectation is always that I will fix it. It's not fair of me to expect them to know or care what they're doing, or to fix what they've done, and it's unseemly to complain about it.
The non-technical manager isn't able to do more to prevent it. Nor is the busy technical manager. The poor performer either isn't able or willing. There's no Superman coming to rescue you. You are the person on the planet who cares the most about the poor performer's effect on your life, and you know the quote about "doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results". The utility of "blame" is questionable, but the choice is only do you consider yourself a victim of the poor performer with nothing you can do and have the same situation happen again and again, or do you recognise that you are in a position to act and prevent it? (If you want, you can then blame your choice not to act, when the situation predictably recurs, I guess).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4AUY-v1nsE - "We are going to have to act, if we want to live in a different world"
I don't absolve people, I just don't let myself stew over how it's their fault.
I admit that I come at this question from a very bitter place. I have been woken up many, many, many times at 3 AM to deal with a problem that someone else caused, out of sheer laziness or incompetence. Those people suffered no consequences. Had I applied the same level of due care to my own duties in fixing the problem, however, the consequences would have been different, and significant. It is difficult, in such circumstances, not to stew over things a bit.
"What can I do about it?" is the focus. No point obsessing over the other person.
I think that's what Munger was trying to say.
