Python (dead simple, easy to recall):

if monkey == 'fat':

    print('happy')

if [ "$monkey" = 'fat' ]; then

  echo 'happy'

you gonna forget about the semicolon, the spaces around the condition and it will error out. not to mention integer comparison operators...

python also has some terrible syntax, but those are advanced things, like list comprehensions.

jq...it's the same as awk, sed, bash... hard to remember for the reasons mentioned above