After a long, torturous and detailed recalling of my past, I have concluded without a doubt that I am exceptionally stupid, in decision-making, cognition, learning and functioning. Despite being decently privileged with parents encouraging a growth mindset and a focus on learning and hard work, I have been unable to accomplish or make any significant progress with any of my goals despite having all the resources for it. It appears that I am still a child from more than a decade ago who hasn't learnt anything from my experiences and mistakes.
I (suffer?) from forgetfulness, inaction, delusional years-long procrastination, inability to be consistent, slow thinking, wrong decisions, inability to learn from my mistakes, inability to self-regulate and what not. I have tested for any physiological deficiencies like blood tests which all appear normal. I also have an adequate, balance diet. These problems have existed even when I had an active lifestyle so exercise is not the solution imo.
It's like if a truck is racing towards me and despite knowing it will run over and kill me, I am either unable to move, procrastinating about moving thinking I can do it later, moving a few inches and then stopping or even forgetting that the truck is about to end me. And this is despite the truck has already run over me many times causing me great damage.
From a very objective, cold perspective, people like me are better off not existing but I would prefer not to take that step if there is a remedy for my malady. HN is probably the only place where I can receive some constructive advice and help on what I can do to eliminate or at least mitigate my vacuousness and stupidity. If you know of any solutions, no matter how controversial, please let me know. I need all the help I can get.
