I'm reminded of the concept of a "tact filter", which is basically "do you alter what you say to avoid causing offense, or do you alter what you hear to avoid taking offense?"
https://www.mit.edu/~jcb/tact.html
The part the original essay leaves out is that optimal behavior depends on the scale and persistence of the relationship. In personal, 1:1, long-term relationships, you should apply outgoing tact filters because if you cause offense you've torched the relationship permanently and will suffer long-term consequences from it. But in public discourse, many-to-many, transactional relationships, it's better to apply incoming tact filters because there are so many people you interact with that invariably there will be someone who forgot to set their outgoing tact filter. (And in public discourse where you have longstanding relationships with your customers with serious negative consequences for pissing them off, you want to be very, very careful what you say. The entire field of PR is devoted to this.)
So anyone who spends a significant amount of time with the general public basically needs to develop a translation layer. "i hope you hang yourself" on an Internet forum becomes "somebody had a bad day and is letting off steam by trolling." "Your business is probably in violation of federal labor laws because you haven't displayed these $400 posters we're trying to sell you" becomes "Better download some PDFs off the Department of Labor for free" [1]. "We're calling from XYZ Collection Agency about your debt" or "This is the Deputy Sheriffs office. You have a warrant out for your arrest for failing to appear for jury duty" or "This is the IRS calling requesting you pay back taxes in the amount of $X over the phone" = ignore them and hang up because it's a scam. "Continued involvement in Russia's internal affairs will lead to nuclear consequences" = Putin is feeling insecure with his base and needs to rattle some sabers to maintain support. "You are in violation of several state and federal laws facing up to 20 years in prison" = they want something from me, lawyer up and make sure we're not in violation and then let's negotiate.
[1] https://www.dol.gov/general/topics/posters