I see your comment about intrusive thoughts. Don't hesitate to speak to a doctor about them and take medication for it.
I put off doing that for almost two decades, when I finally did after an attempt it really changed my life around.
I'm now on a maintenance dose of trazodone, and thought I've went off of it a few times, I think I'll stay on it for good now. It keeps future episodes away and it does wonder for your sleep. I'd agonize over the days event's for an hour or so after going to bed, but it really helps me fall asleep in 15-20 minutes.