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0 pointshightrix2y ago0 comments

As an anecdote, I am always drained by social interaction and always recharged by solitude.

I can be home alone all week and still dread going out to a party if I’m not in the mood. I’m a very social person, but it is still draining. I have never felt so alone that I need social interaction, but I have frequently felt a strong need to be alone.

But I’m also like the parent in that I’ve lead large teams, had greater interpersonal relationships, and have been hoisted to leadership positions regardless of if I was trying to get there or not.

Finally, I imagine the reality of extrovert vs introvert is similar to the modern understanding of gender as a spectrum. I would guess there are not many people that are wholly introverted or extroverted.

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6 comments · 4 top-level

m4632y ago· 2 in thread

I think there are a spectrum of social interactions.

There are negative social interactions, and they frequently leave me drained, or seeking solitude.

There are busy interactions where lots of people require my time and attention even though I have other things to do - they can also leave me drained.

There are also positive interactions, with friends or maybe places where people are gathered with a common interest that leave me buoyant and full of energy and enthusiasm.

Even online interactions might count as interactions, and fill my day with various effects on my energy.

Pet interactions are generally pretty positive. I often wonder if some people use pets as proxies for human interaction (may be healthy or unhealthy)

yarekt2y ago

Yea I think you’re getting close. I enjoy social interactions, but even the most enjoyable ones drain me, even though once I recharge, I end up seeking them out despite. Sometimes the negative emphasis of the word “drain” makes it tricky to understand

hightrixOP2y ago

Yeah, agreed. I could be with my best friends doing my favorite activity at a pace that I chose and still be completely drained by the end of it, needing time to recoup.

I imagine that, just like how it is impossible for me to empathize with someone that gets re-energized from social interaction, it is nearly impossible for an extrovert to understand how introverts feel.

HPsquared2y ago

I think it's more than a one-dimensional thing. Like the idea of the "political compass". Just as a person's political views cannot be compressed to a single "left - right axis", their social preferences cannot be reduced to a single "introvert - extrovert axis".

How is a person with existing relationships vs. new people? Similar people vs. different people?

My theory is that a lot of people labelled "introvert" are just more selective then average in who they want to deal with.

gehwartzen2y ago

I personally like having friends over but we all just kind of do our own thing\ sharing snacks. Having people in my space feels energizing and of course if there's something interesting on someone's mind we talk about it. But having to fill every minute with conversation to me is the draining part.

squirtlebonflow2y ago

I am always drained by solitude and sometimes by social interaction. help

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