Don't feel bad for asking.
I do want to "get it out", and one of the things holding me back is "what's the best way of doing it" (along with "what's not going to invite further negative police attention").
Along with a family member, we've approached our local government representative for advice on how to go about pursuing some kind of action that might help "make the system better" to minimise the incidents of innocent parties being subjected to the violence of the state, but it's mostly been a dead end. But I also don't want it to be what defines the rest of my life either, and pursuing this kind of thing could easily end up eating who I am currently (and I'm quite happy with my current self).
I also don't want media attention, really, in any context.
Now I'm mostly just writing this to understand my own motivations...
Man I really feel this part, though admittedly for a shorter-lived and much simpler reason so I don’t want you to think that I think I fully get it.
My wife and I had two officers walk into our apartment when we were a younger couple. Unannounced, 1 or 2am. Just lights shining around and I jumped up looking for a blunt object. They then announced themselves. Mind you we live in an incredibly gun, friendly state, so if they have done this is somebody else, it is incredibly likely they would’ve had a gun drawn on them, and who knows how it would have gone down. They let themselves in because “the door was unlocked and they were looking for someone.” Mind you to get to our apartment wasn’t a simple thing. You had to walk around a gravel parking lot and up these rear steps. We lived above a restaurant and all that jazz.
I didn’t do anything about it after they left. I just kind of wanted to forget the situation and not think about what could have been. Think god I am white and didn’t have a gun on me, I’ll just leave it at that.
We didn’t even talk about it until probably 5 or 6 years later. What you wrote above made me better realize why.
