Share, please :) it is mental health awareness month after all!
I really struggle with energy levels. I work hard at my job and I find myself unable to work effectively on the things I want to do after work and on my weekends. I waste a lot of time.
I've been in this holding pattern for years and I mostly cope by telling myself that I still have more time.
But recently realized my time is still passing. I'm trying not to fall into the mid-life crisis traps, doing some dramatic rash stuff because of this. But I wish I could find a way to break this holding pattern and do the work I want to do.
It's challenging. I hear about people who died early with super tragic cancer or heart attacks really young and I worry like hell that could be me without ever even starting the stuff I want to accomplish.
Mark 8:36
- I was overweight, so I started eating a healthier diet and exercising. I also tried cutting out some common food allergens and found that a couple of them were causing some consistent brain-fog issues.
- I started to ease off working quite as hard as I had been. For example, keeping my work time to while I was at work, padding in a little extra time in project timelines for some extra breathing room, and taking a lunch break just for myself. While at lunch I would read, or take a Coursera class ,go for a walk, or something else to get myself into a better mood.
- YMMV, but I did not find it helpful (from a mental health POV) to try to force accountability on the things I wanted to do by telling friends or family about them - that just increased my levels of stress.
Best of luck!
Thank you for the advice, and also just thank you for the encouragement. It's nice to know that I'm probably on the right track. :)
The truth is that making games is what I want to do, but I don't want to sacrifice to do it. The industry is notoriously brutal to get into and have a career progression in, so I avoided it after university.
So really the only way I would make games is either solo or on an indie team, but those paths are similarly brutal.
So it remains a dream. But maybe if I weren't so tired all the time, working a bit in my evenings and weekends wouldn't feel like such a sacrifice.
Are you "into" "startup stuff"? Willing to post a contact in your bio?
Then you can add “not running” and “healing an injury” to your list of stressors.
I got injured and piled on weight, but the weight is mostly gone now and I’m building back up to running again, I’m looking forward to being able to go out on a run for an hour or two again.
I thrive in high pressure, stressful environments and everything at this job is so lackadaisical. At the same time Im realizing I hate being chained to a computer all day.
In top of this ive been experiencing spiritual/existential terror as a result of reading about gnostic doctrines which turned my former religious inclinations on their head. I am terrified that the gnostics may have been correct (if only metaphorically)
Additionally all my time management and prioritization faculties are failing. I am having a hard time remembering to brush my teeth each day, much less keep up with laundry, yardwork, dishes, mopping floors.
Stressed to the point that I am on the verge of puking some days. Having existential crisis on a daily basis. Feel like I have no hope for the future. Im lonely as fuck, bored, and I dont even remotely know how to make things better. I think about my own death frequently and it seems so nice. Id never off myself, before I get links for a suicide hotline, but I di have recurring invasice "I wish I could die" thoughts.
Stress management techniques at this point consist of getting high. And no, its not actually helpful, just escapism.
Id welcome any suggestions. Thanks for reading.
My own view is that no one can help with existential dread unless they're an ascetic or philosopher. Maybe do some reading? But before you do, therapy and forgoing getting high may help.
Edit to rephrase confusing sentence.
All I can do is hope that we move soon, but the housing market is not helping. I also try to focus on the moments of calm when I cannot hear his car. It takes considerable mental effort not to acknowledge the noise and let is alter my mental state.
For example, I work mostly from home, so I went outside yesterday to relax in the sun, only if for a few minutes, and he started up his car, shattering the air and any relaxation. I went back inside my house.
For me, hope, is the key. I can only hope that things will get better, and to be patient that they will. I tell myself that this only temporary, and will someday become a memory in the past. Another way I cope is to take many small vacations. It's amazing when we stay somewhere and don't have to worry about loud, spontaneous noises. Noise pollution is a thing!
I agree, it seems the best option is to move. There’s a good amount of housing inventory right now and prices have come down a bit, if you sell and buy a new primary residence you won’t have to pay taxes either, which is good.
Best of luck, keep your spirits up.
lifting
spirituality (meditation, reading, associating with like-minded practitioners, listening to talks by advanced practitioners)
spending time with family
stopping caring so much about work outcomes and just focusing on giving a best reasonable effort
Sleep
Right diet
No tiktok, disabled shorts on YouTube (just click through them and say not interested), minimal insta, no Facebook or snap account
Get your lives dialed in folks, it only gets harder.
I agree it's a good game. I had similar issues so it was always custom maps and campaigns for me.
I'm reading more philosophy now to reframe how I think about stuff (stoicism).
That calms me and rescues me. Ideas channeled into computer reduces my anxiety and there is a bonus Take away
I spent a lot of time after that reflecting on what went wrong and part of it was a dismantling of my ego, and a lot of meditating and reading philosophy.
The subtle art of not giving a fuck... And lots of stoicism, Marcus Aurelius, Aristotle...
Love fate
The only things in our control are our perception and our choices.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference
I don't really consider myself religious, but I learned to value the useful and still relevant parts of several religions.
Then I practiced... Lots of deliberate practice. Meditation, exercise and practiced deliberate choices and perception.
I don't get nearly as stressed anymore.
I was laid off in OCT right as I bought a house and moved cross country, am struggling to make an impact at new job, even though they have short timelines and high hopes. I had strep for nearly two months somehow, my dad died, and my kids are taking up increasing amounts of time. I enjoy side projects but am frankly too low energy to do anything but play games with friends most nights, which I'm lucky to be able to do. On top of that marriage is getting rocky.
In a few years my kids will go to school, and the violence targeting children is depressing.
I've come to the conclusion that life is meaningless, disappointing, and short. People are selfish and incapable of real help when needed. I am treading water until I can come to terms with that.
Im trying to exercise, have done therapy before and it never helps, and am on medication and so on. There's just not much I seem to be able to do at the moment, so, continue treading water.
I don’t have any good ways to staying sane unfortunately, mostly bad coping mechanisms that calm me down but also make me useless.
I stress over far more than I should, just talking with people over the phone, most 1on1s (for no reason, I've never been fired I've always left of my own choice and never forced to leave either). Slowly I start to stress over everything.
> what do you do to stay sane and keep yourself going?
Volunteering. Just getting my mind off of my problems and helping others really clears my head, I stress less over my own issues and end up feeling accomplished and usually have a really good time. Something else I've learned about volunteering, organizations which are fully non-profit and have no employees (everyone is a volunteer) attracts very different people, those who actually enjoy and want to help others, they are really nice to be around and volunteer with/for. I've been volunteering for ~20 years and still love it. Mind you I don't mean huge events either, a Saturday here and there.
