I routed the i.MX block like a normal human being, then rotated everything 23 degrees to (1) avoid the fiber weave effect and (2) not collide with any of the mounting holes, as that placement needs to be symmetrical under the slots for the two daughterboards.

I get that it's triggering people, I get PTSD thinking about needing to touch that routing as well. Altium doesn't support arbitrary-angle differential pairs, so this was a huge mess. Next time I should just ask the PCB manufacturer to rotate the fiberglass sheets by a few degrees instead.