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"Sidenote: Also Gmail is insaaaaaaaaaanely slow on Safari"Huh? I haven't seen this. I have 280,000+ messages (> 20 GB) in my Gmail and everything always works pretty much instantly in Gmail on Safari. Never see any slowness unless my internet connection is very bad, and even then Gmail does a decent job of hiding it.
(Don't get me started about Apple Mail on iOS being incredibly slow at loading Gmail messages, however...)