With friends, the magic comes when the holiday has finished and you start saying “remember that thing on that holiday!”. The worst form of loneliness is only having memories nobody else shares.
It depends on people. I have plenty of memories I share alone and I am happy to do so. I am not nostalgic so the "it was better then" does not work for me.
I am much, much more interested to sharing the present with people, i.e. meeting them for the sake of meeting and not doing extraordinary things together.
You say that like it's a bad thing. Don't get me wrong, I completely agree on the value of shared memories from traveling with friends. But as you said, by definition the memories will be of experiences that were shaped by compromise. When traveling alone, the experience is yours alone and defined by the memories you want to make.
Is the value of shared memories worth the tradeoff of potentially missing out on some memories you were looking to have? I think it depends a lot on the person, the trip, and the group, but it seems silly to suggest there's an obvious right answer that's universally applicable.
The point of articles like this isn't that solo travel is the only valid way to do things either. But it offers an alternative for consideration in a world where group travel is the default. And the worst travel experience is one you don't have at all because you didn't have anyone to go with.
Shallow self gratification of sun, surf, sex and art, these are not going to inspire you, challenge you, or help you grow.
But I feel like you already knew that, so why did you post this.
This also works if time and/or money are tight. Or if you just want to get out & see some new places & people more often.
My original plan had been 12 weeks, but coming around the 7th-8th week, as I was driving back to the East Coast, I was hit with a severe sense of home sickness, so I decided to cut my trip short.
It was a great trip, and I met a lot of people on the way. Also met my now wife -- though, ironically, on the last day of the trip.
I will recommend these sorts of trips, particularly to younger people before they settle down. But - as pointed out elsewhere - remember to talk to people. Still made me feel home sick; and exhausted from the constant bombardment of new experiences.
What motivated you to transport the car across the sea instead of rent/buy a car in the US?
My primary motivation was this was something I wanted to do in that specific car. When I checked prices, I discovered that shipping a vehicle was actually cheaper than renting. One way across the Atlantic was about $1,500. Good luck renting a car for 10+ weeks for $3k.
The car was a 1998 Citroën Xantia Activa V6. So my tour of North America primarily involved visiting Citroën enthusiasts across the country, of which - apparently - there are plenty, even though Citroën hasn't sold a car in North American since 1974.
Of course, I had no spare parts there, so I brought an oil filter and a drive belt with me. So amongst the car's history is a bill for an oil change in California. I had no problems with the car, except a brief bit in Louisiana during a heavy rainfall, that the left windscreen wiper leapt and landed on my side mirror. Fortunately, there was an exit almost immediately, and I was able to pull over to a fuel station to fix it (I obviously kept a toolkit in the boot).
So yeah, part of the motivation was also having Citroën fans in the US see a car they rarely see. And - perhaps something only I appreciate - the look on people's faces when they see a car on European plates (and not just fake front plates).
Around at which point does it start getting good?
This advice article could be a whole lot more concrete
Some years later, I decided that I wanted to be able to enjoy travelling alone. So I did, for 30 days, in France. I made rules for myself:
- Don’t stay in the same city more than two nights.
- Go do all the touristy stuff, eat at all the restaurants, etc, that I would do if I was not alone.
- Speak to people.
It was the best vacation of my life… I have so many stories from those 30 days.
Travelling alone is as hard, uncomfortable or increasingly good, as you yourself let it be.
I probably also average about two nights per town when going train travelling in Europe. Sometimes one, sometimes three.
* I see more than I am expecting as I meet more people. Solo travel is lonely and you want to speak to others, when you do you get new experiences. Theres nothing stopping you talk to people when you travel with others but the yearning for interaction isn’t as strong. Ex: meeting someone in Beijing and going for a proper local breakfast eating things I’d never imagined.
* It challenges me to overcome my comforts. I’ve experienced far more by pushing my boundaries beyond what I thought possible. Ex: cycling the US Pacific Coast and needing shelter/resources and accepting the help you can get only to find kind people, new experiences and great local recommendations.
Almost every time I share stories at least a couple of stories come out of times I have travelled solo.
My best travels have been with two other members forming a group which now includes a charter making it the envy of many others.
The rules are defined. We rotate hosts. The host is responsible for arranging lodging, destination, and guide. No additional members or visits to others. Rules require we share all meals, exploring, lodging. This syncs up schedules and garnishes agreement.
This is our tenth year. The rules were codified in the third after an ongoing disagreement that now serves as a long running joke.
It was what yanked me firmly out of my US-centric world view and I realized how profound it was on my return trip back seeing all the people in line and being able to so easily spot "obvious Americans" (or at least that's what my brain at that age thought).
I also surprised myself with how confident it made me in myself and socially with some of the random connections I made that led to once in a lifetime adventures like meeting a woman on a bus in Italy, dining with her and her brother+wife at the oldest restaurant in Rome ordering all off menu+house wine, then getting a personal insider tour of Rome by night in their convertible.
Or getting lost in the Vatican, missing a museum tour, then realizing the crowd I was watching was listening to the Pope on his balcony.
Or wandering through the Lanes in Brighton at night with a pint on the street while visiting my college roommate who was doing a semester abroad there.
Or visiting our other roommate who was from Vienna and at home who gave me a guided tour of the mountains and then made me terrified for my life driving down them in a torrential downpour in his tiny smart car.
Or happening to be in Siena during the Palio horse race, completely unplanned.
It wasn't quite as extreme as The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, but about as close as I've come. It has the potential to change you in ways you cannot expect.
Definitely a fun way to become a bit better at dating too!
