It made her rethink how she treated her husband. She married him because she knew he was intelligent and kind, so why does she look for evidence to the contrary and berate him for it? She says their marriage was much better after she realized her fault in this. That article left a deep impression on me as to how I should treat my partner/people I respect.
Back a long time ago, about a year into my relationship, my partner managed to spill an entire crockpot of apple cider all over the backseat of my car she was borrowing to take to a friend's place. I reminded her several times to make sure to shut it tight and to secure it somewhere on the floor in the middle of the rest of her stuff so it wouldn't tip and spill.
Of course she didn't do any of that and it got absolutely all over my seats and was a sticky gross mess. I later heard she spent the whole rest of the night over there fretting and worrying about how mad I was gonna be when she got home. And she was literally dumbstruck when my only response was "Alright no worries, sounds good" when she'd gotten back and offered to pay to get the interior detailed after explaining what happened.
"Aren't you mad," she asked and I just said "Not really, it's fixable and you already said you'd fix it, not much to be mad about."
The book points out that when someone (like your child) does wrong by you, they know it, and you punishing them for it just "pays up the balance." And since the slate is clean, they just pay for the next mistake the same way. Without learning anything.
The correct response (and the response you show with your partner) is to let them experience the natural consequences. You trusted her with something, she couldn't follow through, so it would be totally reasonable not to let her do it in the future. But she did right by you in the end (as a natural consequence) and you both feel vindicated as a result. You see she really cares and she sees you're patient with her mistakes. I think it's a powerful concept that encourages being non-judgemental while still asserting your own desires.
Nothing builds teams like having a common enemy. :-)
