> I dislike the inability to host the bulbs locally

Only a few years ago, one could program MagicLight bulbs pretty easily. It seems their newer versions use a different protocol that hasn't been reverse-engineered, so you're stuck using their crappy phone app. I would probably consider spending a reasonable amount on bulbs if I could self-host -- mostly because I want arbitrary control/fine-tuning of them.

> As much as I dislike the inability to host the bulbs locally

Have you checked DigiblurDIY's Youtube channel, Discord server and subreddit? Some of these can run alternative firmwares like Tasmota, OpenBeken or ESPHome.