International Suicide Crisis Hotline directory:
https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
If you are posting this kind of message on HN then you're at a point that you can call for a 1-1 chat. There are people who can listen. Don't rely on social media to do this.
What we can give is some experience, and heartfelt advice. Perhaps there's something of value in this thread, if not for poor OP, then for another person that feels the weight of expectations on his/her shoulders.
The easiest way to access a therapist is to ask your general practitioner (Hausarzt or Allgemeinmediziner) for a referral. You'll still have to find one yourself but they can direct you towards a list. The wait times can be very long but the sessions (and meds if any) are covered by public health insurance.
First they will talk you down if there is imminent danger. There are some real skilled people that are good at de-escalation. They might try to get you in touch with any fiends or relatives you may trust, and even conference them into the call with your permission. (I was called by them.)
They can also dispatch a team to help calm down any acute episode of severe depression / suicide ideation.
They can recommends a voluntary committment to a mental health facility. Involontary committment has certain criteria regarding safety and imminent danger, at which point it would involve the police and they would be the ones making that call.
If not a mental health facility, they do recommend getting a psychiatrist ASAP and provide referrals. And they call back a few days to check on the caller, to ensure they followed through and are seeking help.
Source: A close relative experienced this first hand.
Its a rare thing and highlighting it as the default scenario is spreading FUD and possibly keeping people from getting the help they need. It is true though that if you call and describe an immediate plan to kill yourself there is some legal, ethical, and liability requirements that mean they will call authorities. Exact same thing if you tell your doctor or therapist.
Ok, he must absolutely do it if he needs. BUT.
- For men, they’re underfunded, at least in my country (France). I called them a few times in my life, can’t count the number of times the answering machines were like “We’re open Tuesdays, 7pm-midnight” or “You are the … 7th … in the queue”. Or it’s a hotline for teens. Or it’s a hotline for suicide AND familial violence.
- Many suicide hotlines are for women, or designed for women and incapable of dealing with men’s problems. As in “I… I… can’t date” “Well just ask a girl out”. Yeah right, words of a woman, it works for them this way to they project that it must be easy for men.
The night I called 7 of them just to get no answer gave me a hit of anger, which was enough to pull me through. I wanted to take revenge for the world not caring enough about us.
While there is a lot of validity to asking others about their experience, there is also validity in speaking with a professional.
