undefined | Better HN

0 pointsmrexroad3y ago0 comments

Several kids in my household. YouTube plays a vastly different role for each, which is frustrating.

Oldest goes down rabbit hole of topics of interest - benign useless filler stuff, e.g. mostly pro sports commentary, random things like Disney ride trivia, and other random pop-culture filler. If left unchecked, i wouldn’t be surprised if they spent 8+ hours on YouTube. If moderated, YouTube gives them a fair amount of stuff to talk and connect with others about in real life. Overall impact: neutral to slightly positive if moderated to <1h/day. Food/drink equivalent: Honey Mustard and Onion Pretzel pieces (a few are great, but then you can’t stop and you end up eating 1500 calories and everything tastes wrong for 24h)

Younger teen: will consume insane amounts of gaming videos, most of the creators border on toxic personalities. We’ve banned a number of channels for them, but they find other shitty personalities. I can’t stand the content they consume, but I chalk a fair bit of that to my ignorance about teen culture and mostly grit my teeth. Covid was the worst. I hate YouTube because of their content choices. However, it does provide a small basis of connection to their group of friends. [edit: I also stupidly made a deal that w/ straight A’s I won’t be overly restrictive, which they’ve upheld, sigh] Overall impact: toxic to the point where every month or two I’m convinced to ban YouTube across every device in the house. Food/drink equivalent: Natty Light that’s barely chilled.

Pre-teen: by choice, they spend ~3/4 of their YouTube time learning new skills or facts. Mostly learning specific techniques in the iPad app Procreate, acrylic painting (irl), a ton of educational videos about wildlife/animals they love, etc. But more significantly, their YouTube use has created the reflex to “search first” whenever facing a knowledge/skill gap, then ask for help. They’re the only reason i don’t straight up block YouTube at the network level, for all devices. Overall impact: very positive. Food/drink equivalent: natto and rice.

0 comments

3 comments · 1 top-level

aerovistae3y ago· 2 in thread

Sounds to me like that younger teen needs an intervention, i.e. more oversight. I wouldn't grit my teeth and bare it on that.

Aeolun3y ago

Is that because they’re not doing what you want? Or because it’s bad? They’re still scoring straight A’s in school.

smeej3y ago

There's more to being a successful human than straight A's in school, and for some people the A's are easy.

I think if the parent thinks the agreement they made was stupid and is now a detriment to their child's well-being, they should edit it.

Acknowledge having made a mistake. Don't pretend you were right from the start. That's an important part of the learning process, and your kid needs to know it's safe to make mistakes and adjust course later, that you're not stuck with something just because of one decision in the past.

Be clear on what concerns you and why (especially be sure that it's a concern for the child's well-being and not some need of your own that you're trying to meet by changing your kid) and have a conversation with this young person about it.

This is a growth opportunity, not a lost cause.

1 more reply

j / k navigate · click thread line to collapse