I guess it depends on the character back stories but at least in the default scenario you're shipwrecked when the FTL starship you're on breaks up (or whatever its fate was, been a while since I played rimworld)... which implies that they're used to the comforts an interstellar civilisation can provide.

I too would be somewhat irate if I went from glitterworld comforts to scrabbling around in the mud

My go-to siege defense was to send a couple pawns with rifles to intercept the enemies the moment they appeared on the map, picking them off at range and from behind cover. By the time the raiders' supplies and artillery were ready, they would have no good defenders left, so my pawns could clean up pretty quickly. This approach required micromanagement, but consistently kept my base from taking much damage.

Once upon a time, tricking the attackers into using the wrong mortars was also possible, although I never tried it and haven't played in a year or two, so that might have changed.

Ok, this is where we see eye to eye.

If a colonist just hates something and has the means to avoid it, it should just do so. But then we run into how campfires and the cooking skill are balanced, but in general I agree.