There's "I remember you and I want to show that I care about you" gifts.

These days, I'm ambivalent about such gifts, whether it's giving them or accepting them. It's not the love I'm ambivalent about, it's just that it's also usually a ... thing. Which takes up space.

But there are also "Man, you've got to see this!" gifts. Not just something that the receiver will like, but which the giver loves also. Things that grow what you have in common.

These gifts need familiarity and trust. If the giver isn't on the same wavelength as the receiver, it becomes a "this is your sort of thing, isn't it?" gift instead, and they are not the same, even when they hit the mark.

And of course, a "you've got to see this" gift from a stanger is just a promotional sample. There has to be familiarity already, otherwise it's an imposition. "Why did you think I wanted to be more like you?"

My brother is the one who most usually gives the good "you've got to see this" gifts to me, and I dare hope I've managed to give some back.