The same grid that can't handle heat waves without begging people to turn off AC, and even then having rolling blackouts, can handle everyone charging at night or after work at the same time, too?

Almost everyone in the midwest and mountain west considers a 3 hr (one way) drive a normalish weekly or monthly event. Sure, it's not most people, but it's not some tiny outlier.

I'm completely fine with being made a fool of, but I'm going to need more than 'yeah, it can do it.'

"The grid absolutely can handle EVs."

Maybe yours can.

In California, they were recently asked to not charge cars during certain times of the day because the power system could not support the additional load.

My understanding is that California's grid could have supported the load, they just weren't able to generate the electricity required to do so.