Yes, I have been privy to the pain of custom home builds and remodels. The difference is, when someone says "oh damn the plumbing isn't working as well as we would like", when the contractor says that's not feasible to fix without gutting the house back to studs at the cost of hundreds of thousands, people understand that intuitively. They don't say "can't you just drill some holes and run some new pipes diagonally through the living space".

Software is malleable, opaque, and ever-changing. Construction and maintenance costs of physical infrastructure can be explained in a way that a reasonable lay person can understand. That is not true of software at scale.