To clarify my words, what makes me feel bad is fate reaching out of nowhere in an inevitable way to take someone away. A drunk driver driving in the wrong direction on the highway - literally nothing you can do but hope it doesn't happen to you, or that you're in a different lane (which I was - he passed by me on the inside lane, or I wouldn't be here typing this.) I dread something like this happening to someone I care about, and I hate hearing that it happened to anyone else, even a stranger.

By contrast I don't feel that bad hearing secondhand stories about easily preventable deaths. There were like 4 ways to prevent this - use a lifejacket, know how to swim, be with an adult, or at least don't fall out of your boat. I don't spend time worrying about how people I care about could die if they made a series of specific stupid decisions stacked on top of one another.

It's still sad for those involved, but from a distance I can no longer relate to it emotionally.