What I understood from their comment (which may not be correct) is the following. Say you have something like this:

  extern void foo(T *p);   // some arbitrary function
  
  void bar1(bool cond)
  {
    ..
    auto p = std::make_unique<T, your_deleter>();
    if (cond) { return foo(p.release()); }
    ...
  }

This requires the compiler to call your_deleter::operator() regardless of whether cond is true or false, even though it's unnecessary (and can thus be slower) in the case where cond is true. Moreover, the obvious way to avoid it is to write it "C-style":

  void bar2(bool cond)
  {
    ..
    auto p = new T();
    if (cond) { return foo(p); }
    ...
    your_deleter()(p);
  }

which can up being faster when cond is true. But this isn't something an expert would generally want to do, as now the C++ code becomes unidiomatic, fragile, and unmaintainable.

In an ideal world, though, you could have an optimizer smart enough to do that transformation automatically. C++ compilers already do that in trivial cases, but they can't do it in general. My impression is that their Haskell compiler exploits the internal knowledge of what your_deleter does (i.e. reference counting) in order to optimize the code in various ways, like optimizing out such code, consolidating refcount updates, etc. And if I understand this correctly, there's no surprise at all that it can be faster than idiomatic C++ code written even by experts.

The question for me isn't the expertise of their programmers. Perhaps in their case they genuinely do need to have lots of objects on the heap, have (say) tight loops where they (for whatever reason) nevertheless cannot avoid the heap allocations, and don't have much of a use for finalizers besides freeing memory. In which case, I'm not surprised their solution clearly delivers better results than the C++ equivalent. The question from me, instead, is how well they think that generalizes, such as to (a) well-written Haskell programs in general, (b) well-written C++ programs in general, and/or (c) other domains. It would be one thing if their solution delivers better results in Haskell than C++ for their use case; it would be another thing if they could claim their solution delivers better results in Haskell than C++ for most use cases.