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0 pointszwieback3y ago0 comments

Agree, I don't even order coffee in Portland anymore because everything is "delicate, fruity, floral" light roast aka. tastes like goddam vinegar.

0 comments

31 comments · 7 top-level

technothrasher3y ago· 15 in thread

Last time I was in Oregon I tried to go into a coffee place and get a cup of coffee. Now, I'm admittedly not a big fancy coffee guy, usually drinking whatever Dunkin Donuts or McDonald's swill I can get, but I couldn't for the life of me figure out what the hell I was supposed to order. It was all fancy names on the menu and nothing that was just "coffee". I finally just said, "I want, like, normal, I don't know, East Coast coffee." The guy rolled his eyes, but obviously understood me, because he gave me coffee that tasted normal and was just fine and dandy.

eloisius3y ago

If you went into a wood oven Neapolitan pizza place, huffed over the menu when you couldn't find "meat lovers" and then finally said "I want, like, normal, I don't know, East Coast pizza" you'd probably get an eye roll too. But, if you just say you're not familiar with whats on the menu, ask what's good and has meat on it, they'd probably be happy to help you find something you like. It's often about how you say something.

fsckboy3y ago

it's a small point but "official" Neapolitan pizza (or should I say pizza Napoletano) is not available with meat on it

erikpukinskis3y ago

You can just ask for a “small coffee”, you don’t have to turn it into a weird territorial thing. Most places will have normal drip coffee ready to go.

In the rare case somewhere only does made-to-order, you want an Americano. It’ll be fast and good and what you want.

krageon3y ago

An Americano is a normal cup of coffee with a large amount of water added. It's like a medium-strong tea. I was under the impression it was called that as some sort of disparagement of the US. Is this actually what is regularly consumed there?

2 more replies

tptacek3y ago

Presumably the eye-roll was about the manner with which you asked, conveying confusion or distress about the menu, and not the drip coffee order; coffee places are happy to serve you a drip coffee (it's easy for them).

jgalt2123y ago

I don't think Blue Bottle does--only pour over. For cold brew, I think they sell drip.

1 more reply

jquery3y ago

Just ask for a coffee. They won't roll your eyes at that. At least, that's never happened to me and that's my typical order at a boutique coffee shop. They're not going to make fun of you for not being a coffee expert. You'll end up with a nice drip coffee of whatever the house recommends.

tomjakubowski3y ago

He rolled his eyes because of your insinuation that their coffee was abnormal.

speed_spread3y ago

Sometimes you want the drug, not the drink. In these situations it is annoying to have to pretend to care about what feels like overly researched excuses for addiction.

kQq9oHeAz6wLLS3y ago

You gotta get outside the Portland metro area. Then you'll find normal coffee.

gpgn3y ago

Relevant clip from The Sopranos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLyn_feOptg

matt-attack3y ago

I never look at coffee menus. They’re all obnoxious. Just walk in an say “I want a medium coffee”.

bpodgursky3y ago

"Large drip"

They always figure it out.

sushid3y ago

Go to a McDonald's next time. Would you ask for the Applebee special at a fancy steakhouse?

mrguyorama3y ago

In fact, mid range "fancy" resteraunts often have a "boyfriend special" cheapo burger and fries, with nothing fancy or special about it, for when you don't have the taste, or wallet, for overproduced, overpriced "we cut this normal food into weird shapes" meals.

aaronbrethorst3y ago· 6 in thread

I'd legitimately rather drink Starbucks than Stumptown for all of the reasons mentioned above. Starbucks is 'meh' but at least it doesn't have that sour, floral taste.

stevage3y ago

As a melburnian used to espresso, American Starbucks just tastes like milk to me. I try to order the smallest, strongest thing I can find and it's still just...milk.

worthless-trash3y ago

Australians have no idea how spoiled they are. The italian migration in the 60's really lifted coffee expectations.

mrguyorama3y ago

I WISH Starbucks tasted like milk. Order just a normal iced or hot coffee from them, and put in as much cream or sugar as you want, it still tastes like you are licking the little hot plate under the carafe in a drip coffee maker.

At least it doesn't taste like battery acid though.

salt-thrower3y ago

I actually agree. I’ve tried to like Stumptown so many times, but the flavor is too sour for me.

Sisters Coffee Company is my favorite Oregon brand so far.

aaronbrethorst3y ago

Thanks for the tip. I'll check them out next time I see them at PCC or wherever.

Meanwhile, I think my two favorite Washington roasters are https://www.mukilteocoffee.com and https://fidalgocoffee.com

1 more reply

sizzle3y ago

Stumptown sold out to Peets fyi https://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/07/business/dealbook/peets-b...

I can’t look at them the same ever since.

malaki013y ago· 2 in thread

Live in Portland. Can confirm there are places that lack a simple dark roast / house coffee option. Portland literally encourages a "keep it weird" ethos that imo just results in folks trying too hard, as in banana-rosemary-licorice blends ...

sizzle3y ago

Portland is the first and only place in the world where I was able to order a “lemonade coffee” and it was super unique and the flavors worked well together. They really get my respect for creativity alone, I like trying new things and changing my perception of what coffee is!

mrguyorama3y ago

My friend once asked the workers at ColdStone to mix some lasagna into an ice cream. It was disgusting.

Not directed at you, more at the zeitgeist of boutique places mixing seemingly absurd things: Putting random shit together doesn't make you "unique" or "special" or "creative", sometimes it just means you didn't put much thought into something.

1 more reply

salt-thrower3y ago· 1 in thread

Check out the track “Coffee In Portland” by John Craigie on your music app of choice. It’s a great folksy bit about attempting to order coffee at a trendy coffee shop. Hilarious. (I say this as a Portland resident myself).

robocat3y ago

> “Coffee In Portland” by John Craigie

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PWqoq4UQtQc

Link is more of a comedy sketch, not a song.

sweetgiorni3y ago

So funny to see this comment. Having moved to Portland recently I've been wondering why most coffee here is undrinkable to me. Guess this explains it.

If anyone is looking for recommendations, Clinton St. Coffee House has never once served me a sour cup of coffee.

0xEFF3y ago

Water Avenue Coffee out of an aeropress tastes sweet to me.

staticautomatic3y ago

Have you tried Spella?

j / k navigate · click thread line to collapse

0 comments

31 comments · 7 top-level

technothrasher3y ago· 15 in thread

eloisius3y ago

fsckboy3y ago

it's a small point but "official" Neapolitan pizza (or should I say pizza Napoletano) is not available with meat on it

erikpukinskis3y ago

You can just ask for a “small coffee”, you don’t have to turn it into a weird territorial thing. Most places will have normal drip coffee ready to go.

In the rare case somewhere only does made-to-order, you want an Americano. It’ll be fast and good and what you want.

krageon3y ago

2 more replies

tptacek3y ago

jgalt2123y ago

I don't think Blue Bottle does--only pour over. For cold brew, I think they sell drip.

1 more reply

jquery3y ago

tomjakubowski3y ago

He rolled his eyes because of your insinuation that their coffee was abnormal.

speed_spread3y ago

Sometimes you want the drug, not the drink. In these situations it is annoying to have to pretend to care about what feels like overly researched excuses for addiction.

kQq9oHeAz6wLLS3y ago

You gotta get outside the Portland metro area. Then you'll find normal coffee.

gpgn3y ago

Relevant clip from The Sopranos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLyn_feOptg

matt-attack3y ago

I never look at coffee menus. They’re all obnoxious. Just walk in an say “I want a medium coffee”.

bpodgursky3y ago

"Large drip"

They always figure it out.

sushid3y ago

Go to a McDonald's next time. Would you ask for the Applebee special at a fancy steakhouse?

mrguyorama3y ago

aaronbrethorst3y ago· 6 in thread

I'd legitimately rather drink Starbucks than Stumptown for all of the reasons mentioned above. Starbucks is 'meh' but at least it doesn't have that sour, floral taste.

stevage3y ago

As a melburnian used to espresso, American Starbucks just tastes like milk to me. I try to order the smallest, strongest thing I can find and it's still just...milk.

worthless-trash3y ago

Australians have no idea how spoiled they are. The italian migration in the 60's really lifted coffee expectations.

mrguyorama3y ago

At least it doesn't taste like battery acid though.

salt-thrower3y ago

I actually agree. I’ve tried to like Stumptown so many times, but the flavor is too sour for me.

Sisters Coffee Company is my favorite Oregon brand so far.

aaronbrethorst3y ago

Thanks for the tip. I'll check them out next time I see them at PCC or wherever.

Meanwhile, I think my two favorite Washington roasters are https://www.mukilteocoffee.com and https://fidalgocoffee.com

1 more reply

sizzle3y ago

Stumptown sold out to Peets fyi https://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/07/business/dealbook/peets-b...

I can’t look at them the same ever since.

malaki013y ago· 2 in thread

sizzle3y ago

mrguyorama3y ago

My friend once asked the workers at ColdStone to mix some lasagna into an ice cream. It was disgusting.

1 more reply

salt-thrower3y ago· 1 in thread

robocat3y ago

> “Coffee In Portland” by John Craigie

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PWqoq4UQtQc

Link is more of a comedy sketch, not a song.

sweetgiorni3y ago

So funny to see this comment. Having moved to Portland recently I've been wondering why most coffee here is undrinkable to me. Guess this explains it.

If anyone is looking for recommendations, Clinton St. Coffee House has never once served me a sour cup of coffee.

0xEFF3y ago

Water Avenue Coffee out of an aeropress tastes sweet to me.

staticautomatic3y ago

Have you tried Spella?

j / k navigate · click thread line to collapse