You are not the only one here, I was born in the USSR too, so I also went through a long phase of having (neo)liberal attitudes and worshipping the capitalist mode of production.
And yes, I am aware nowadays: a few years ago I started re-examining my preexisting views, realized that I acquired most of them without a conscious choice, and then got past the "it's either capitalism or a totalitarian central-planned state" false dichotomy promoted by modern propaganda. Can only recommend doing the same because it's quite liberating after being traumatized by the Soviet experience.
The Anarchist FAQ can be a good starting point because it has lots of sections deconstructing the capitalist mythology:
https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/the-anarchist-faq-ed...