> I do not care or feel respectful or grateful for having a job, and I do not know what to do.
Hello, me. Meet the real me.
I'm not respectful or grateful to have a job either. I sure as hell don't care. I'm a mercenary, and proud of it. I'm only in it for the money, and I refuse on principle to pretend otherwise. Workism, the belief that you should find community, emotional fulfillment, and meaning through your job or career, is just another bullshit religion.
You already know this, if only subconsciously, and that is why you don't have the "work ethic" you think you should. Instead, you've embraced tang ping -- lying flat -- without so much as reading a manifesto.
Free yourself from the tyranny of "should". Your only duty is to yourself and your own happiness. Stop worrying about what you think you ought to do and ask yourself what you want to do. Never work harder than you absolutely must to get what you really want from life. If work was actually fun, we'd call it play instead.