Ask HN: What are some counterintuitive things in life?

Whatever you fear, finds you. If you're too generous, you will soon find it the universe decides you have too much. You can't improve yourself, because the part that is trying to improve itself is the one doing the improvement. To know something is to have power of it, generally, but what if the reverse is true? What if knowing something gives it power over you? Ignorance is our ammunition. The unexpected virtue of ignorance.

Gravity. Basketballs and bowling balls fall at the same rate.

In an argument with a loved one, “winning” is often losing.

You have to let go of trying to win and instead try to understand. As soon as you stop trying to win, that’s the moment you find win/win.

If someone assumes something bad about you, don't correct them. This includes stereotypes. If it is a misunderstanding, let them learn the hard way so they won't repeat it. If it is evil intent in their part, let them face the natural consequence of their intent.

Hatred and evil are naturally destructive to their beholder. If not destructive, it will transform.

It is better to understand that and attempt to succeed in your goals unaffected one way or the other by your hater. As they say, the best vengeance is a life well lived. Not that I promote being vengeful, but to someone who hates you it will anger, frustrate and fret them even more when you succeed. As natural as it may feel, do not accompany your enemy in their miserable hatred and prejudice.

This is a fun wikipedia article on perverse incentives where you aim for something you want and it has the opposite outcome https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perverse_incentive

The best time in your life is spent building your future, and the rest of your life is spent remembering the past good times.

Unavailability is the cologne of desire.