There is no way to avoid most of things you listed. It's not comfort; it's a necessity.
> software written in C is generally such a shitshow
Whatever language you use to code, all your calls will sooner or later pass through a function call, a nested expression or a malloc()/free() call, somewhere in the huge stack of C code your language needs, depends and relies on. There is no escape. Basically, today your preferred language exists and might be able to something just because C code exists.