I agree, but it's still out of touch. (not a knock on you, we are all subjectively influenced by what we come into contact with the most and interpreting it as 'normal'. It's also why something like 90% of people consider themselves middle class.) The fact that you have to narrow it down to software development and major cities should tell you that much. That's also why my original comment included both SV and software as biasing factors.

The average person does not develop software and does not live in a major city. If somebody is making double the median wage and 2.5x the average wage and complaining about keeping a roof over their head, they can probably expect some sideways glances. It's like when people complain about the difficulty of making ends meet once they make their Lexus payment and pay their kids private tuition bill. The subjective struggle may be legitimate but it's still out of touch with the experience of most people.