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0 pointsantiterra4y ago0 comments

> The author's wife was trying to communicate to him: "when you do X, I feel like Y, and it hurts me."

Too often for me, I have tried to figure out a solution to a problem, when someone was just trying to let me know how they feel.

I think there’s some sort of an analogy around a leaky canoe.

Like: Is the person hoping for a friendly wave, some hints on stopping the leak or for you to get into the canoe and help bail the water out?

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agota4y ago

>Too often for me, I have tried to figure out a solution to a problem, when someone was just trying to let me know how they feel

John Gray addressed this in "Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus" - I believe he argued that this is the #1 mistake men make in relationships.

IIRC, he also argued that the #1 mistake women make in relationships was trying to help men by giving unsolicited advice.

js24y ago

> Too often for me, I have tried to figure out a solution to a problem, when someone was just trying to let me know how they feel.

That's likely not uncommon among the readers here, and something I do as well. But I think just realizing that I do it has helped me to stop doing it so much.

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