I'd love to see the data on this.
For example I found this from around 2014, it isn't strictly about dual income households, but there is data out there for that:
> Around the world, women spend two to ten times more time on unpaid care work than men.
Source: https://www.oecd.org/Dev/Development-Gender/Unpaid_Care_Work...
Of course in developing nations or other scenarios with stay at home women will see them doing more unpaid work. I'd imagine it's similar for a brief time in developed countries when women leave the workforce to have children too.
At least in my experience it seems division of overall labor is generally equal for the relationships I have seen.
https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2021/01/25/for-america...
https://news.gallup.com/poll/283979/women-handle-main-househ...
Anecdotally, I have a fairly progressive friend circle and I still think, between talking to different halves of a given hetero couple, it seems like the man tends to exaggerate how much he does around the house, how much childcare he does, how self-motivated he is to do so, etc. When asked, these men will enthusiastically agree that the split should be even when both partners are working, but walking the walk is understandably tougher. These patterns don't disappear within a generation, unfortunately. If I only spoke to the men, I'd have the same impression you do.
For example my wife always makes it sound like finding shoes for the kids is the same as planning a trip to the moon. If I say I’m going to get them shoes she says I can’t be trusted. I don’t care, the kids don’t care, but boy does it stress her out every time their feet grow.
(Mostly joking. But only mostly.)
