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0 pointsceejayoz4y ago0 comments

> This seems like a one-sided stopgap to a problem that is undoubtedly two-sided and it sets a precedent for [the author's definition of] respect that cannot be maintained indefinitely.

I don't know that it's one-sided. The author may have asked their spouse to similarly adjust behavior in various ways; if they were amenable to that, but didn't get a corresponding response on their own pet peeves, that'd be an imbalance that'd stew over time.

> For example, what if you were just about to put the glass in the dishwasher but the doorbell rings?

Doing it very occasionally and doing it all the time are likely to have substantially different impacts on the spouse.

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InfiniteRand4y ago

You're right, frequency matters. I also think it matters that he reacted defensively (at least that's how I read the essay), rather that just saying, "Okay, sure" and putting the glass in the dishwasher. It's a token response that doesn't really mean much, but it's a token that shows some consideration.

I think that's why a workaround solution like putting the glass on a counter out-of-sight would also be helpful. It's not that the workaround necessarily improves anything from his wife's perspective (the glass still needs to be cleaned) but it shows some effort.

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