If you are married to the person surely the goal should be to find some middle ground.

Edit-add: also, I think “being with a person who never triggers a negative response in you” is just plain impossible. On some days I trigger a negative response with myself :-)

But based on my limited experience of two 10+ years relationships, I can say life is so much easier and fun when you have less things to disagree about.

But I also acknowledge that this is how I am wired - for some, fights are stimulating. Hence my initial reply with shibari. There exist rather interesting pathways to happiness.

I can’t think of a better goal than to be with somebody so compatible that you have minimal friction and minimal issues.