There's definitely some room for improvement here, but fwiw you can double-click executables on Linux to run them just like you would on Windows (or to an extent, MacOS). I think the "solution" here is not to rely on portable software, and when you do need to rely on it, use a packaging format like AppImage.
> And homebrew (and anything equivalent for WSL?) works pretty well.
I hate to burst your bubble, but Homebrew is genuinely awful. The vast majority of Mac devops issues I've encountered stem from a Homebrew issue, as a matter of fact. Oh no! Software (x) isn't running on Mike's M1, but it runs just fine on Melissa's x86 machine! The problem? Homebrew installs software to different locations depending on your system architecture. That's right, the same package will end up in different places when the only difference between machines is CPU architecture. That's just one issue, I have gripes about reinstalling, leftover files, formulae syntax, Linux "compatibility", UX and more... the author isn't wrong when they say the experience simply doesn't compare to apt or pacman.