No, this is very wrong. You can maintain a fork. You can do that while maintaining positive relations with them to see if eventually they do decide to take the PR.

Of course nobody wants to do that because it's a lot of work. So what's really happening here is you're trying to play hot potato with a feature that nobody wants to maintain, not even you. I sympathize, I also have patches sitting around in various projects that went nowhere. There just isn't enough time in the day for unpaid volunteers to look at every patch.

The 'meta-argument' I was making is that delivery requires coordination, and the more you deliver the more work it is.

That's all well and good, but on a singular level I agree that simply throwing a patch request without doing the due diligence won't get you far.