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0 pointsPragmaticPulp4y ago0 comments

I said it was interesting, not-boring, and introducing me to more new people than I’ve met since college.

I didn’t say it was always easy, but that’s fine by me because it’s not actually soul-crushingly difficult (again, another misconception popular among young people without kids that turned out to be wrong).

The older I get, the more I realize that my friends who optimize for minimal effort (no kids, reluctant to leave the house, picky about what they attend) are gradually sliding into very boring and unfulfilled existences.

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Elte4y ago· 7 in thread

I may be like one of your boring unfulfilled friends, except I have a single hobby that makes me feel a sense of purpose, whereas very few other things in my life ever really have. On a rational level, it seems to me that having kids will add a sense of purpose to my life, given how many people share this perspective. At the same time, thinking about the time and effort I will be forced to take away from the thing that keeps me sane fills me with dread. It's not like there's a way back.

PragmaticPulpOP4y ago

> At the same time, thinking about the time and effort I will be forced to take away from the thing that keeps me sane fills me with dread. It's not like there's a way back.

YMMV and don’t let my experience be your only guide

But I had the same exact feeling. After the first year or two (infant stage is tough, no denying it) I’m actually right back to my hobbies just as before.

It takes more planning now to do the weekend hobby events that are out of town, but it’s still plenty doable.

I’ve also realized that the number of years that your kids are young and require a lot of attention is actually fairly small. I plan to live to at least 80 and the most attentive child-raising years are only a small fraction of that.

gfxgirl4y ago

I definitely have at least 3 friends with kids that manage to keep up with their hobbies. 5, 3, and 2 kids respectively. No idea how they do it but they certainly demonstrate it can be done.

Elte4y ago

Thanks. It'll happen sooner or later, my girlfriend strongly wishes to be a parent and will probably murder me in my sleep if I back out now ;).

I know I'll likely figure it out, as I have everything in my life so far. That doesn't prevent that dread from creeping up, though.

Volrath894y ago

What hobby?

Elte4y ago

Commented below on somebody else asking the same :).

HFguy4y ago

What is the hobby?

Elte4y ago

(Sorry for the late reply - while I appreciate no notifications from HN it also means I tend to just forget about it).

The hobby is sports. I'm relatively gifted as a "hybrid" athlete, if I work hard at it I can get podium finishes at OCR / Hyrox type events. I'd still do it without that though, it produces an emotional state that, while not taking away the rational thought that there's ultimately not much purpose to anything that I do, makes me not really care about that at all. Makes things make sense even when they don't.

However, the fact that it (a) combines really poorly with a lack of sleep and (b) has an expiration date (athletic ability is of course age bound) do contribute to the sense of dread.

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8 comments · 1 top-level

Elte4y ago· 7 in thread

PragmaticPulpOP4y ago

> At the same time, thinking about the time and effort I will be forced to take away from the thing that keeps me sane fills me with dread. It's not like there's a way back.

YMMV and don’t let my experience be your only guide

But I had the same exact feeling. After the first year or two (infant stage is tough, no denying it) I’m actually right back to my hobbies just as before.

It takes more planning now to do the weekend hobby events that are out of town, but it’s still plenty doable.

gfxgirl4y ago

I definitely have at least 3 friends with kids that manage to keep up with their hobbies. 5, 3, and 2 kids respectively. No idea how they do it but they certainly demonstrate it can be done.

Elte4y ago

Thanks. It'll happen sooner or later, my girlfriend strongly wishes to be a parent and will probably murder me in my sleep if I back out now ;).

I know I'll likely figure it out, as I have everything in my life so far. That doesn't prevent that dread from creeping up, though.

Volrath894y ago

What hobby?

Elte4y ago

Commented below on somebody else asking the same :).

HFguy4y ago

What is the hobby?

Elte4y ago

(Sorry for the late reply - while I appreciate no notifications from HN it also means I tend to just forget about it).

However, the fact that it (a) combines really poorly with a lack of sleep and (b) has an expiration date (athletic ability is of course age bound) do contribute to the sense of dread.

1 more reply

j / k navigate · click thread line to collapse