> The 3D model will differ from the actual construction. From the very beginning and more and more over time.
Not really. The point of construction is to turn the "3D model" into reality.
Some problems in the original planning can and will be spotted during construction but that just means plans are updated once conflicts are resolved.
There's even a occupation specialized in ensuring that what's being constructed complies with the "3D model": construction and building inspectors.
The mental models that are formed by software developers based on their personal experience within software development activities is not compatible with any day-to-day practices of any engineering field.
> Documentation is hard enough for software projects. Why would we expect documentation quality of construction to be better?
Because it is, by it's very nature and purpose. Practically all of the engineering deliverables are written documents. These documents held engineers liable to any defect. In engineering, documents matter the most.
Engineering is not software development, and software development is not engineering. Engineers need to put in writing stuff that works for decades, at their financial and even civil and criminal risk. You don't just hit the "build" button and retry if something failed. You put into writing exactly how something needs to be done in order to meet all requirements, and make sure that everything is done according to what was put in writing. If anything goes wrong, what's written down is the engineer's only defense.