You can drive a meeting while still deferring to experts by driving the meeting, and then bringing them in for their expertise when you know it is in their area - which you know when that is and who they are, because you would be an expert in knowing that.
You seem to be sitting back in the meeting and waiting for something to add, which… yeah doesn’t add much? That’s inherently passive.
And if they ask you to be candid, and then recoil when you are, that is potentially because you’re not wrapping up what you’re saying in a way they can process/handle - it could be overly abrasive, or verbose, or whatever.
The reason you may not be getting any actionable advice is they are giving you why they see as actionable advice. But you’re missing a connection here because you’re missing the EQ piece?