The main advantage Erlang has over C/Python/Ruby/etc. is that asynchronous IO is the default throughout all its libraries, and it has a novel technique for handling errors. Its asynchronous design is ultimately about fault tolerance, not raw speed. Also, it can automatically and intelligently handle a lot of asynchronous control flow that node.js makes you manage by hand (which is so 70s!).

You can make event-driven asynchronous systems pretty smoothly in languages with first class coroutines/continuations (like Lua and Scheme), but most libraries aren't written with that use case in mind. Erlang's pervasive immutability also makes actual parallelism easier.

With that many connections, another big issue is space usage -- keeping buffers, object overhead, etc. low per connection. Some languages fare far, far better than others here.